Cherishing Charlotte

I bet you could guess the title of this post....

2012-01-07T21:23:00.002-05:00

Updates!
I feel like every time I post here, I need to do a little update- because it's been so long since I've written.
I guess that's the life of a busy family with children.

In the past 2 months Charlotte has developed more than I would have ever imagined- she now says EVERYTHING... and doesn't stop talking- she talks, and talks and talks, and I wouldn't change it for the world!
She can now count to 5!!! She even points to things and counts (1-1 correspondence!) which is great!
She's starting to tell stories (some true,some completely imaginary!), a d make comments about conversations we might be having- she's adorable, witty and altogether funny!

Here are some recent pictures

Isn't she growing up?

It's so hard to believe it's been over 2 years now. She amazes me

Favourites

2011-11-09T19:09:00.001-05:00

It's been over 2 months since I've written.
2 busy months with my little girl, and my husband.

Lots to update with Charlotte- I'll do it a little differently...

New Favourites:

Song: BaaBaa Black Sheep - she sings it to her baby doll and NEEDS to be sung it before she goes in her crib for bedtime!

Game: Magnetic 'fishpond' type game

Activity: Building blanket/chair forts with Daddy!

TV Show: Cat in the Hat - or as she calls it 'GoGo'

Book: Brown Bear, Brown Bear - Eric Carle and Pat the Bunny

Words (based on how often she says them :)- ' Don't want to', 'Charlotte Do it', and 'Up Please'

she can say everything now, and mimics all the time. She talks A LOT!! It's great to see development happen. Sometimes she will stop mid-sentence, and you can just see the 'wheels' turning in her brain- then she'll figure out the word, say it, and carry on with her sentence.

She loves to wear boots and take her shoes/boots/slippers one and off! She likes to pick her own clothes out of her drawer, and loves getting to wear pull-ups sometimes! I think she's going to love dress-up clothes in the next few months!

Playdoh is a favourite as well... and painting and colouring! I think she's going to love arts and crafts!

She's so much fun!

Of course, with a little one who is 2 in one week.... there are tantrums, and moments where the word NO comes out of her (and probably my) mouth way too often! but for the most part- everything goes smoothly! She is a wonderful, kind, and loving... a cuddly little girl!

Bye for now....I'll try to updates more often.

Halloween with her 'Ama'... not sure how to turn it around, you'll have to turn your laptop- or your head!

At middle cove beach!

Mummy, daddy and Charlotte

Charlotte and her dolly- this dolly used to be her grandfathers!

Charlotte picking a pumpkin- and trying to carry it all by herself!

Eating her halloween cake!

Jane

Wonderful, Heart Breaking Moment

2011-09-04T09:17:00.002-04:00

I've just written a blog post on my Letters to Noah blog, which belongs here too. A wonderful yet heartbreaking moment that I shared with Charlotte... Here it is, copied directly from letterstonoah.blogspot.com

Dear Noah,

Today is Mummy's birthday. I'm 30. It's funny, because when I was little, 30 seemed so, so, so old. It seemed as if when you are 30 your life is almost over. When I was little I felt like all 30 year olds had life all figured out, their plans had been made and fulfilled. My plan was to have finished having all of my family by the time I was 30. Who knows, maybe I am finished. We'll have to see what the next few years bring for Mummy's aging, and fertility - challenged womb. I guess 30 means I am all grown up. Somedays I really don't feel like it- and other days, I feel like I have aged enough in the past few years that I should be a 70 year old women.

I wanted to tell you about a moment I had with your sister the other day. We were playing in her playroom (you would love it! it's cat in the hat themed- with yellow walls, and all the books, toys and craft supplies you would ever want.) We were playing with Charlotte's babies, because right now, she loves babies. Mummy had her locket on that Grammie gave me soon after you died. Charlotte loves necklaces, so she was playing with it while it was on Mummy's neck. I said 'gentle' and so she started to rub the locket instead of pulling on it (your sister is slowly learning to be more gentle!! it's taken a while!)
Then she said 'see, see', which means she wants to see something more closely.
So I opened up the locket

Charlotte said 'E', which means Baby

and I said ' yes, That's Noah. '

'NoNah' said Charlotte (which is what she calls cousin Norah, so I'm not sure if she thought you were Norah or not!)

Then I said 'Brother Noah'

and Charlotte said 'Buffa?', gave your picture a kiss, and said 'awwww, Buffa'.

Then, she went on playing with babies, asking me to put a diaper on one...

This melted Mummy's heart, and broke it at the same time. I want her to know you and love you, she will know you and love you. But I so, so want things to be different. I want her to KNOW you , really, and truly know you- play with you, argue with you, play games with you... This was a perfectly, wonderful, yet heartbreaking moment.

Charlotte is young, very young. She isn't going to understand about you, her brother, for a while yet. But I will keep talking to her about you for now, ad forever- at her level, to help her understand that you were here, you are with us, and you are loved. Loved like any other brother or sister than may grace us with their precious presence. Loved, like she is loved- without all the same cuddles, and kisses.

I love you Noah.
Forever and ever, and ever, and ever- you are my baby boy!

Love you forever,
Mummy

A tidbit of our Ontario Trip

2011-08-07T10:43:00.000-04:00

It's been forever since I've updated the Charlotte blog! Instead, I've been running around playing with her, and painting our new house! Here are a few photos from our recent trip to Ontario!

C with Grampie!

C in her flower girl dress, for Jocelyn and Greg's wedding

eating wedding cupcakes!

mummy and daddy were there too!

playing with parker!

blowing bubbles- look, it's Noah's garden in the background!

swimming with grammie was sooooo much fun!

in a boat!

stickers on my nose!

with Great Grannie!

at the beach with Mummy and Auntie Kristin

hand-in-hand

with Uncle Steve!

Visiting Noah's stone at the cemetery

holding hands with Addison

cookies with great grannie lloyd!

3 friends! Avery, Charlotte and Kai!

visiting Noah's tree

Holding baby Amelia!!!

Avery and Charlotte in their coordinating outfits!

We had tons of fun! and I have about 600 pictures from the festivities! but 20 will have to do here :)

Dear Charlotte

2011-06-11T20:12:00.000-04:00

Dear Charlotte,

Mummy loves you.

Mummy will always love you.

You mean the world to your Daddy and I.

You are growing up so much. IN only 18 and a half months you have changed from a little tiny baby, so dependent on us for every moment, to an independent, cuddly, loveable toddler.

You amaze me every day.

New words, new actions, new understandings. Everything is new.

You are a busy girl. Active and curious.

You love baby dolls and cars, balls and shoes, bubbles and colouring. You love to feel the wind in your face, and the feeling of mummy's hair on your forehead. You cling to Mummy around 'new' people, or even people you know- but only for a few minutes- then you're ready to give anyone a hug or kiss, or have them play ball with you.

You are fearless- if you had it your way, you'd sit on the edge of the couch and lean back, to fall, just to see what happened, you'd try to sleep with the dog in his bed, you'd go down a slide head first.

You are so loving. Giving kisses seems to be your new favourite thing- Mummy, daddy, the dog, the cats, your dolly the floor, your shoes- you'll give anything a kiss! Today while we were driving back from Chapters I looked in the back and there you were, holding your dolly like a baby, and kissing her face and smiling.

Your beauty amazes me. Your big blues eyes get comments every day from complete strangers. You radiate innocence and hope to me, Charlotte.

Sometimes, Mummy has hard, or bad days. Days when she really misses your brother, or really feels sorry for herself. But, you help keep me grounded, and help me remember he beauty you bring to this world. Everything when I rock you, read to you, sing to you- I watch your beautiful face become sleepy, and feel you cuddle into my shoulder. This feeling- priceless.

You are loved, Charlotte.

No matter where life takes you, or what comes your way.

You are loved by your Mother, You are needed by your Mother, and you are worthy of everything that makes you happy.

Love you forever,

Mummy

SUN!

2011-05-30T13:12:00.000-04:00

I lived in Newfoundland when I was little... but I think the 'Spring' weather is something I forgot.
We don't have Spring here... Just winter- cold- snow- rain.
Very few days before July will the sun be out and warm enough to not wear a coat.
We've had 2 of those days this week.. YAY!!!!

Here are some photos of the girly in her summer gear!

I love the summer.. and I think Charlotte does too!

Road Trips!

2011-05-24T20:17:00.000-04:00

Well- It's been a while since I've written. When Charlotte was little, napped a lot and I didn't work. I updated her blog every few days. I know that there are a few people who get their updates through here, instead of Facebook, so I'd like to keep it updated. Also. I want to keep it updated for her. So when she's older, and ready, she can read it too! Here are some pictures from our latest adventures!

1st- for Easter we went to Hr. Breton. and Charlotte got to meet her cousin, Jayda! They had lots of fun!

and of course- fun with Great Grandma!

I love my daddy! and I love wearing his hat!

Here I am with shoes and a backpack!

Charlotte made Mummy a card (with her daddy) and a little flower basket at daycare! The frame was my Mother's Day present from the Remembering Together Exchange this year! Thanks Cara!

My beauty loves playing outside! It's still pretty cold here. But some days we get nice sun!

We found a park near our house. FUN!

Little ham! She loves Mummy's shoes

For May 2-4 weekend, we went to Trouty. We had lots of relaxing fun!

Do Mummy and Daddy's glasses look good on me?

Colouring is SOOO fun!

Helping daddy with some work

Umm... I love OREOS!!

Casey dog!

Swing, Swing, Swing!

Lots of fun this month!

She's growing up so much! I will write soon about all the new developments!

Charlotte Update and Easter Fun!

2011-04-21T12:58:00.000-04:00

Charlotte is amazing. It amazes me just how much children grow and learn at this age. It's really, really fun to watch!
She understand pretty much everything that is said to her, and she can follow simple 2 step instruction ex. 'Get the ball and bring it to daddy'.

Her talking is not here yet- but her babbling is turning more intonated and appropriate for the environment everyday. She has a few words-

Momma, DaDa, Amma (Grandma), Pop (Poppy), Ball, Baby, Block, Bunny, Book, All Gone, All Done, Shhh (with her finger over her mouth- when her baby is sleeping!), Bottle, Milk, Yes, Hi, Bye, Up, Dog, BaaBaa (when she sees a sheep).

Not many- and not always easily understood! but they are there!

She loves to dance, and be sang and read too! She can clap her hands and stomp her feet when singing 'If you're happy and you know it..'. Colouring is highly exciting right now, She LOVES her baby doll- she feeds it a bottle, puts it in a baby bed, covers her with a blanket, kisses and hugs her and pushes her in a little stroller. She even likes to try and get the dog to kiss her.
It's all very cute!

I can't wait until she is able to say more- she is starting to get very frustrated when she babbles at me and I have no clue what she is saying. It must be a very frustrating age- it's probably a good thing we don't remember being that young!

On to Easter-- We are going to visit some extended family on the other side of the Island tomorrow, for the weekend! It will be a long drive, but it should be a good visit!

Here are some of Charlottes easter pictures-- Yes, I know, The Easter bunny at the bottom is very scary looking!

But I don't want to get my picture taken!

Hello Easter Bunny-- I will Ninja Chop your Eyes!

Dear Charlotte,

2011-03-24T08:04:00.000-04:00

Dear Charlotte,

You may never realize just how much you are loved.

You may not understand the joy you have brought into the lives of many in our family.

I love you- you are a joy. Even when you are tired, hungry and all together monster-like- we love and cherish you. We are so happy you are ours!

You are a beautiful little girl- with so, so much life ahead of you. Live it- Cherish it- and always remember. You Are Loved

Love you forever,

Mummy

Valentines, Daycare and Spring in the Air!

2011-03-11T10:49:00.000-05:00

What a month it's been! Ups and Downs- Ins and Outs- and of course- lots of love and cuddles!

First- there was Valentines day!

although we are far away from many of our friends and family- we felt very loved- look at all our valentines!

Then came the daycare drama that I talked about HERE .

So- Charlotte was home for a week or two while we sorted out a new place for her to go. Luckily, Mum and Dad are still here (until next weekend), so we had the help of them for childcare. (phew!)

We interviewed a number of home daycare providers- and chose the one we thought would best fit Charlotte. So far- it is going WONDERFULLY! I can not say how happy I am! Charlotte makes a very sad face for when I first hand her to the childcare provider- then, sputters a bit- but then by the time my shoes are on and I am ready to leave the house- she stops! They sing songs and dance, play with playdoh and colour! Charlotte eats well, and sleeps relatively well during the day too! She is settling in well, and I am so proud of her- and do happy that she can have a good experience at daycare! I think the difference is that Charlotte needs (as I imagine many 1year olds do) a lot of hands-on, stimulation and interaction- someone to talk to her and teach her how to play- someone who has musical toys and things she can explore!

Here are some more photos from the past month!

her stacking rings she uses as bracelets!

trying on grandma's fur coat!!

Spring is around the corner! We can't wait to get out of winter boots, hats and jackets and take out the spring jackets- even if that does mean rain! Bring it on!

First Haircut!

2011-02-21T08:32:00.000-05:00

Between Daycare visits yesterday (they went pretty good, we have another one tonight), we had some time, so we decided to check to see if the kids hair cut place had an opening (Sunday afternoon, so we were doubtful!). But, we went, and we got in right away! For some time now, Charlotte's hair has been getting in her eyes .. and she keeps pulling out her clips and hair elastics! It was time- just a little trim (you can actually not really even tell that her hair was cut! haha.

I didn't know this- but it is a whole service- they get to sit in a little car, they get to watch tv (the older ones play video games), their hair (for their first cut) gets saved in a cute little bag, they get a certificate, and a before and after picture! and also.. something I NEVER thought Charlotte would have until she could ask for it.. she got her nails painted! haha.. it's hilarious- she was so cute though, and was so proud of them. They use chemical free little kid polish.. but it does look funny.. I keep thinking her fingers are bleeding when I see them out of the corner of my eye!

It's altogether cute, and she's happy and healthy!

Here are a couple pictures (blackberry pictures, so they aren't the most foccused!) from the event!

Charlotte in her Red Ferrari! As you can probably see, they also had a pink barbie jeep, and a yellow hummer!

Getting a little bang cut.. I didn't want her to have bangs, but the hair in the eyes thing was driving both of us nuts- so now she has a teeny tiny fringe in the front... so help her see!

The painting of the nails! :) hahaha

It was fun! we'll probably go again at some point! it's a cute little outing with a cute little girl!

More updates on daycare findings later!

Daycare Drama...

2011-02-18T09:38:00.000-05:00

I got a big shocking email yesterday.
Charlotte's caregiver emailed in the middle of the day to say that we have to talk about a possible end date for Charlotte being in her care.

It came as a shock.. I knew she was crying, more often then probably most do at the beginning of daycare, I know she is very needy for attention, especially adult attention at this stage in her life... but... it had been 8 full days, that's it.... and for the last few days when I had picked her up... she had been playing, not crying- playing on her own. She was only there from 8:30 or 9 until 3:30 or 4, she slept a full 3 hrs, or more most days, and she ate lunch and snack just fine.... the provider said each day that she played a certain amount....so... that doesn't leave too much time left for crying... and if she was playing sometimes... then she obviously could be calmed down, and could be happy there. Charlotte never ran to us for dear life when we came to get her, she just looked up and smiled, and put her arms up- then, usually went back to play with her ltitle puppy toy she brought from home. I think there might be more going on then I know- maybe she is looking for an excuse to give Charlotte up, maybe a little baby, with no transition issues would be easier for the money? I don't know... I feel like there must be something I don't know.. after only 8 full days.

I understand from the email that Charlotte's crying was affecting the other children (2 of her own, and one little boy the same age as Charlotte). They didn't like her crying (obviously).
I guess Charlotte being there, and taking her time to get used to it changed the dynamic of the daycare, and wasn't a good fit.

Anyway- in the email (EMAIL), she said she could try it for another two weeks and if she doesn't settle in completly, then she would have to go... but... maybe it's just too 'mother hen' of me... but Charlotte is not being there, without me for another second on her own. I don't feel like any harm would come to her... but I also don't want Charlotte somewhere where she isn't 100% wanted. I don't feel comfortable with that.

I understand that Charlotte craves attention... and needs adult attention often... but don't all 1 year olds?

Anyway.. I'm confused, and a little upset at myself for letting her transition somewhere that wasn't going to work- and now she has to do it all again (if we ever find another daycare). For now, I had to say no to working today... so I could be home with her. Something I wish I could do anyway, but unfortunatly, it isn't in the cards.

Here is a picture of her, that the daycare provider send me from her 2nd full day at daycare... I guess this was one of her 'happy moments'... doesn't looks like she's in distress, or has been crying all morning!

So now, we are on the hunt for another daycare- home daycares are pretty much the only option, as organized daycares here don't start until the child is 2 years old.
Any ideas for looking?
any things to look for when interviewing someone/looking around the place?
any ideas for helping Charlotte's independence? at home? at daycare?

ideas? tips? hints?
much appreciated!

UMM, I love chili!

2011-02-06T17:35:00.000-05:00

Charlotte's eating has gone from good to GREAT this week! She is eating everything and loving it! She also has discovered how much fun it is to feed herself with a spoon or fork! She is so independent- which leads to messiness- but that's ok! Actually for the most part she's very good at keeping the food contained to herself and her tray- although the dogs back has had to be wiped a few times because of yogurt splatters!
Here is Charlotte the other night- with her chili!

As you can see.. she loved it :)

Playing, Artwork, Snow Day and a PhotoShoot

2011-02-03T20:07:00.000-05:00

I just love my shape sorter- but I still haven't figured out exactly how it works- my favourite thing to do is through the shapes, or fill the bucket up with other toys!

Daddy wanted me to nap with him... silly daddy- I can't sit still!!!

she's a walking machine now!

Snow day! daddy is taking a break from shoveling to play with me!

My first artwork!

me- being cute!

Charlotte has begun daycare and is doing alright. She is sad usually for 20 minutes or so at the beginning- and gets a little whiny when the daycare provider pays attention to the two other children... humm... Charlotte sounds spoiled... nah.. couldn't be.. hahaha. It's a great little home daycare, and there is a little boy just 1 month older than her! I know it will take her a while to fully get used to any daycare- I think it's harder on my than her really!

Soon she'll be going for full days! maybe even monday! That could be another adjustment!

Charlotte is beginning to make lots of different 'talking' sounds, and is communicating quite well. She also understands pretty much anything we say. She follows instructions (when she wants to ofcourse!). She's a happy little girl!

We got her photos done at Sears (well, her daddy did!!!) They turned out really cute- here are a couple

Isn't she just a doll! Sometimes, it's hard to believe that she is ours. All ours!

long overdue update! pictures and videos

2011-01-22T20:37:00.000-05:00

It's been a month since I've updated this blog. Lots of stuff has happened!
Christmas and NewYears happened, I've been working a lot, we've found a daycare for Charlotte and are in the process of slowly transitioning her to being there while we are at work.
Anyway.. here are some pictures, and a video that show some events from the month!

Cheeky little girl!

She loves her Sing-a-ma-jigs.. new little annoying toys! (but secretly very fun!)

her new car!! she loves it!

here she is with cute pigtails (which she pulled out 2 seconds later!)

Swinging!

Yummy homemade cookies from grandma!

here's a video :)

Here I am in my new sled! Mummy and Daddy were snowshoeing!

Poppy Daddy and Charlotte!

Sledding on a tiny hill across the street from my parents house!

here's a video!

my FAVOURITE toy- Mummy's purse!

all bundled

and... grandma takes me to starbucks for fancy warm milk while she has her cappacino! :)

Charlotte began walking last week! she's been pretty close for a while now.. this video shows the first night she began walking a little! I don't know who is more excited- her or her daddy! It's so wonderful to have such a wonderful husband who is such a wonderful daddy! Charlotte, Noah and I are very lucky!

(remember to pause the blog music at the bottom so you can hear the video!)

Charlotte can walk really well now- she is practically running, and she loves it! I'm so proud of her!
Some days lately have been hard- I've been working- and sometimes I feel like I miss so much. I don't want to miss anything. Charlotte is so precious- as every life is. Her happiness is mine.

Luckily- she is happy. So even with the horrible grief that comes with the death of her brother, and that will continue to persist for the rest of my lives-- we are happy. We have each other and have found a way to be happy with what we have. Sad for what we have lost, but happy for what we have and have had. Perfect-No, Happy-Yes!

Jane

Ginger Bread

2010-12-24T13:16:00.000-05:00

Well.. It's Christmas number 2 for Charlotte.
Oh how she's grown...
Oh how I've grown!
Last year this time I was a scared new mother, pretty much a milk truck for my new daughter.
This year- I am still a scared new mother- but not as much as I envisioned myself being. and as of about 3 weeks ago- Charlotte switched herself to a bottle.. so I can no longer be called a milk truck.. although I do miss it!
anyway.. here she was last year with our gingerbread house

Look, she couldn't even hold up her head!

here she is this year, a little girly, all ready for Christmas!

yumm gingerbread!

Wow... what a difference a year makes.

Have a wonderful, blessed holiday my friends.

Jane, Matthew, Charlotte and remembering our Noah.

Photo Update

2010-12-19T12:56:00.000-05:00

We've had a busy few weeks. I've been getting a lot of substitute teaching work, Matt's been busy looking after Charlotte and looking for work! and on top of everything, it's almost Christmas!

I love being on daddy's shoulders!

Here I am with Mummy

The littlest one in our family puts the angel on the tree!... I know.. not a good choice of PJ's for Christmas decoration night... but the Halloween pj's still fit!

here are the three of us

and, matty and I

all ready for a walk in bowring park

here are the three of us, looking a little Cyclopes like... only one eye for each of us!

me in my backpack

Charlotte in her adorable owl dress!

ready for the santa claus parade!

with Grandma GG

with Poppy!

and here she is with santa! hahaha

She hated him! maybe next year we might see a smile!

It's been a great few weeks! We look forward to the rest of the year, and welcoming a wonderful 2011

Our Trek Across the Country

2010-12-12T19:10:00.000-05:00

Ok.... So maybe from Ontario to Newfoundland isn't even half way across the country, but still.. it's long, and with a 1 year old, it's REALLY long!

1st, we went to Kingston. Matt's parents, siblings, and many of our friends live in Kingston. So we spent 6 days there before the big trip. So, with a FULL mini van, we drove the 3 hours from Brampton to Kingston

IN Kingston, we saw Auntie Kristin (It's annoying that the picture is sideways!)

and Uncle Steve and Auntie Tanya! (Uncle steve is growing some weird facial hair, Mummy thinks he looks a little like Abe Lincoln)

Also, It was my birthday! S I got lots of presents!

Here I am looking cute!

Kimmy came to visit us, and we went out to lunch, and to visit Noah at the cemetery. It was the first time I got to 'walk' around there! I really wanted to sit on the mud, but mummy didn't want my dress to get all dirty and then the dirt get on my carseat!

Here is a Panoramic shot matt took of part of the baby section of the cemetery

and, here I am waiting for my lunch... not very patiently :)

There were many more pictures taken while in Kingston, but most of the time, I took them on my Mother In Laws camera, or on another camera which we have yet to locate :) We had a great week! It was a nice way to spend Charlotte's birthday!

So, off we went! Van full, and Matt with a.. Mustache! He was finished work and it was 'movember', so he decided facial hair was the way to go.. as you'll see, it didn't take long for him to shave it off

here is me, on our trek

Charlotte did a lot of this .. sleeping! which was great!

Pseudo Casey came along, Charlotte loves him!

going into the tunnel in Quebec

In the Tunnel

The first night, we stayed in Levis Quebec, just outside Quebec City. A cute little hotel. We woke up to this.......

We woke up to SNOW... and then we realized we didn't have a snow brush, so we found a Rona, and got one!

here is matt, with the new snowbrush

We crossed over into New Brunswick!

Watch out for MOOSE!

In NewBrunswick we stayed at my Great Aunt Fay and Uncle Sam's house! it was great to spend time with them! We got a picture or two... on the camera which we have yet to locate!

In Nova Scotia, we visited Sheryl and Christian. .. Chris bought a bunch of seafood, including Oysters. I couldn't bring myself to try them raw, Matt and Chris did though!

Charlotte had lots of fun at Sheryl and Chris' house!

ALong the way, we saw our moving truck!!!

and a fun car carrier! with squished cars on it!

Matt, happy to be almost home, and facial hair free

Cape Breton, almost to the ferry!

Here is the ferry to Newfoundland!

And.. believe it or not, we didn't get any pictures of our drive across Newfoundland. We were tired, and just wanted to get to St. John's. It was dark when we passed the St. John's city sign... but we are here, and we are loving it!

Photos of our time thus far... to come!

Proud Wifey!

2010-11-25T15:12:00.000-05:00

We're here.. We made it to Newfoundland.
I will outline (with pictures) our 5 day drive/journey soon- I still have to find my cameras in our mess of stuff!

I've been very thankful lately, for a lot of things

About 2 months ago, we had the house just about ready for sale, cleaning ALL the time- Looking after a little girl who was crawling up a storm, had mini temper tantrums- and like all babies- needed constant attention. At the same time- Matt's work was going through so major changes, which required him to be at work... pretty much all the time. He was home sometimes for as little as 1 waking hour. Days in a row, he would leave the house at 5 or 6 am, and return home about 8pm, starving and tired. He worked until about 3 days before we moved. Needless to say- I was so overwhelmed- on top of selling a house and dealing with all the address changes, lawyer stuff, packing, organizing, cleaning, making dinners (although no husband was home on time to eat them!), walking a dog and looking after and loving a beautiful little girl... I was alone.. I was leaving our first home- not just any home, but a home we prepared for both our children- only one of which got to use it... It was, and still is an emotional subject. I have to say, for that 6 weeks, I felt to alone, so unsupported. There was nothing I could do.. I guess it was 'bad timing', and Matt has a really strong work ethic (something I admire), so he felt he had to tie up loose ends at work and be there for all the changes that were happening on that end.

He finished work ... we packed the remaining stuff, and got on the road.. and since then.. WOW has Matt made up for his lack of everything the past 2 months! I know he felt guilty for being away so much, he told me he did. I tried to make him not feel that way, but I know he sensed it. I also know, that once he gets a job, and we get into the swing of things in our new city, I will again do the majority of the child care etc- but I expect that.
I am so happy and proud to have a partner that, when he can, helps! He changes bums, feeds bottles, prepares meals, washes dishes, does loads of laundry, plays with his baby girl! It's so nice to see, and it's so nice to have a little break! I love this 50/50 thing!
Charlotte is also loving it. She just loves hanging out with Daddy, she gives him hugs and kisses and high fives, and he is working on teaching her a 'fist bump'! She just lights up when he comes in the room, in a way she didn't before, even just 2 weeks go. I think it's a mutual trust and respect... and it's so nice!

Our truck worth of stuff arrives Friday! It will be nice to have all our clothes, furniture etc. So far, my parents house is lots big for the 2 little families! It will be nice to have our own, but I do think this is a good transition.

We are a happy little family... right now... homeless and unemployed... but happy!
:)

Jane

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

2010-11-16T21:46:00.000-05:00

Wednesday November 17th... Little Charlotte's 1st Birthday!
Here she was 1 year ago

My beautiful girl- ready for this world. A little being, so new, so innocent, so wonderful. She had no idea, and still has no idea just how special she is. Just how much her life has brought to ours.. just how much the hope of Charlotte has helped our hearts, our souls, our minds. She has a life ahead of her, which I'm sure will be full of ups and downs.. but she will always be our rainbow, and our hope. No matter what- Charlotte will be loved. Loved more than imaginable. She's helped us more than most can probably comprehend. More than I can comprehend sometimes.
She is amazing. And to think- she has so many wonderful years ahead of her.
It is my wish for her to live longer than I. to prosper, hope and dream, to live life to it's fullest, remembering that she is capable of anything, and worth everything. I hope that she grows up knowing that her big brother was here.. but couldn't stay.. was alive, was breathing and was loved. I wish they could have met. Imagine.. having all my children together. Oh what a joy that would be.

Here is Charlotte now. My bright beautiful 1 year old.

Happy Birthday my dear girl. I am a proud, happy Mummy today, and always!

A Luau in November

2010-11-08T22:13:00.000-05:00

On Saturday we had Charlotte's birthday party! With the move, we had to move the party up so she'd be able to say goodbye to her friends! it turned out great- lots of food, friends and festivities! Even a craft involving paint and fabric so we can make a quilt or wall hanging for Charlotte's play room in the new house!!

Here is Charlotte with her two best friends! Kai and Avery!

The kids had lots of fun! We brought a lot of Charlotte's toys to the rec. hall in our townhouse complex where we had the party!

Look what we had for the Luau! it was fun to put all the kids faces in the little hula dancer face! he he he!

Here is the birthday girl!

Here are most of the kids, together!

here they are again!

Kai, playing with Charlotte's truck!

I loved being held by, and playing with everyone at my party! I was soo, soo good!

and, soo, soo happy!

The beautiful Luau cake, complete with Tiki Hut and Hula dancers- and little mini cupcakes for the babies was delicious and gorgeous. It was made by Avery's parents, and our good friends, Hope and Kevin!

Here are Charlotte and I before we cut the cake!

Here she is enjoying her cake! she LOVED it!

for the craft- we put each child's foot print on a piece of fabric- and we will make it into a quilt or wall hanging for Charlotte- so when we talk about her friends in Brampton- we can find their foot, and their name!

Here are the feet, when they were almost all finished!

The party was so much fun! It was so nice to be able to have a birthday party for her- something I wished so much I could do for Noah.

Bittersweet these special moments are

Happy Halloween!

2010-11-01T07:46:00.000-04:00

It seems hard to believe that this is the first Halloween that we've had a child here with us. It should have been Noah's 3rd Halloween.. I can hardly believe it!
Charlotte was a pumpkin for Halloween. It was COLD here in Ontario, Canada, so under her costume, she had to wear her snowsuit! he he he... that often happens here!

Here is the little pumpkin!

and.. the puppy pumpkin!

Cold Canadian Winters!

'Walking' up to the first door!

Casey and Deborah!

My loot!!.. Mummy and Daddy get to eat it all!

Riding in the chip box!!! FUN!

EATING dinner!

I hope you had a good halloween!

Pre-Luau

2010-10-28T18:23:00.000-04:00

I am currently getting ready for a 1st birthday bash for Charlotte next Saturday! It's gonna be fun! There are going to be 8 children (all between 7 and 17 months!!!!!) CRAZY!

It will be so nice to have most of Charlotte's friends together in one place before we leave. I'm going to TRY to get a picture- but it's hard to get kids to cooperate for cameras much of the time alone, so 8 might be quite difficult!

The theme is LUAU!! Matt picked it- he went shopping with me to the party store and didn't like any of the 1st birthday decorations- so Luau it is! it will be fun! We even have a Hula dancer with a hole for a face- where the kids can put there faces, and we can take a picture! HA!

I also hope to do something with all the kids, that Charlotte can keep to 'remember' her first birthday, and her time in Brampton. Something like... footprints on fabric squares- and make a wall hanging or quilt, or poster paper with footprints or handprints of her friends... I haven't quite figured that out yet. If you ave any ideas- or know what paint would work well for baby/toddler foot prints on fabric- feel free to comment and let me know! With only 1 week left, and 2 weeks until the huge move- I really have no space in my brain for more ideas!!!!

The party should be fun! I'l be sure to post pictures... hopefully sooner than later!

September's Photo Shoot

2010-10-26T20:55:00.000-04:00

Remember the photo shoot I talked about last month! Well, I got the disk of pictures! there are some great ones of the 3 of us, and of Charlotte, and of course- Milton, Noah's froggie is in some of them too!

I love them all, but this last one of Charlotte and Milton is just adorable.

New Pictures!

2010-10-16T18:37:00.000-04:00

I got a new snowsuit in the mail from Grandma.... it was a bit big! see!!! So we returned it and got one a little more my size!

We also got this extra fun backpack baby carrier! it's the best!

Here is Grammpie singing to me! I love to dance to his singing!

and... I got fairy wings and a tutu .. so I had to model them while at Grammie and Grampie's house!

Here I am eating my very first turkey dinner! I loved every bite! it was the best!

and.... our house sold! It sold conditionally after just 2 days! But we had to wait until just yesterday for all the conditions to be met! so we got the sign! YEAH! Charlotte enjoyed riding on the sign!

It's been a busy week, but a good one!!

reviews, giveaways etc at the baby bottom line!

2010-10-06T13:19:00.000-04:00

Hey!
Well latly, I've seen so many new things for kids and babies in stores and online.. but anything with 'baby' attached to it (much like 'wedding') automatically means they can double the price and seem to get away with it!

The Baby Bottom Line is a blog that I read that has a bunch of great reviews, giveaways and generally fun, informative posts!

Right now, there are a couple of giveaways on-- look at this one for instance--FUN!

Go visit, have a look around!

Jane

Pumpkin Patch Pictures or PPP

2010-10-04T18:39:00.000-04:00

We are selling our house (and I must say it has never been so clean it all it's life!!)

Anyway, we had a Open House on the weekend, so we took advantage of the family time and took Charlotte to the Pumpkin Patch! Here are some of the cutest pictures of the day!

spot the pumpkin!

she looks like this :) and here is her daddy too!

can you spot her now!?

Daddy found a John Deere- so it was a great photo-op!

this one is tricky- where is she?? the cutest pumpkin in the bunch!

look- a pumpkin that's almost her size!

pumpkin leaning against a fence!

he he he

It was a great day all together- in more ways than one-

-pumpkin patch

-family time

- and a very successful openhouse!

Letters to Noah GIveaway!

2010-10-02T22:56:00.000-04:00

Visit my other blog, Letters to Noah and put in your entry for a giveaway!
You could win a Flourish or Rosette from Small Bird Studio!

Check it out :)

ABC's Of me!

2010-09-30T10:58:00.000-04:00

I thought this might be fun for Charlotte to read when she grow up! Here it goes!

It's the ABCs of me, if you want to play along feel free!

A - Age: 29.... No, really, I am, it's true!

B - Bed size: Queen... but wishing more and more that we bought King!

C - Chore you hate: Ironing.. I don't and won't do it! Yuck.. I also hate vacuuming.. luckily I don't have carpet!

D - Dogs' names: Casey... he's a Cocker Spaniel/Shihzhu..... You can imagine the nicknames we call him, being that mix! he he he.

E - Essential start to your day item: Breakfast- Can't function long without it!

F - Favorite color: Yellow- it's so happy.. but looks terrible on me.. so to wear- probably red or blue!

G - Gold or Silver: Silver or White Gold

H – Height: I would like to say an even 5', but that's a lie... 4'11" (and a half?!)

I - Instruments you play: PLAYED is the correct statement- Piano, trumpet, recorder (does that count?) and voice- I sang while I lived in newfoundland withThis Choir, Shalloway, but when they first began they were called Newfoundland Symphony Youth Choir.

J - Job title: Teacher but right now.. Stay at Home Mum (and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!)

K - Kid(s): Noah, should be 2 1/2 , and Charlotte, 10months

L - Living arrangements: Hubby, Charlotte, Casey (dog), Bella and Beau(kitties), and Noah in our hearts

M - Mom's name: Glenda.. aka Mum, Mummy, GG, Grandma GG, Dudu... any of those will get her!

N – Nicknames: Refer to Matt's library of strange names- including- Chicken Fart, Turkey Muffin, Old Goat.. all of which sound terrible, but are terms of endearment in his head! Other then that- just plain Jane!

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Only my brith.. and the birth of my 2 lovelies..

P - Pet Peeve: Long, gross toe nails.. there is nothing worse!

Q - Quote from a movie: I don't know..

R - Right or left handed: Left

S - Siblings: I'm the youngest- My older brother 5 years older

T - Time you wake up: When I am woken by the coes of the cutest little girly in the world!

U- Underwear: Yes.. those are a necessity!

V - Vegetable you dislike: PICKLES.. yuck.. but I love cucumber!

W - Ways you run late: When I'm with friends or family who are late- generally I hate being late. Also.. have kids makes you late..

X - X-rays: Ankle- grade 7- broken

Y - Yummy food you make: I make very plain food.. I do need to spice it up a bit! I do make a mean lasagna, and homemade chicken wings... not together though :)

Z - Zoo animals: Elephants have a gentle largeness.. I like them.

Yikes.. that was long!

Sneak Peak!

2010-09-26T11:44:00.000-04:00

Emily, from Emily Krbec Photography has already posted a Sneak Peak of our shoot. I thinks she edits a few pictures and posts them-which is great because I hate waiting! But now.. I am so excited to see the rest!!!!
And it really is like Christmas- because the pictures are beautiful, and it has a green and red theme too! haha

Here is our sneak peak! You can also see it here!

Isn't Charlotte so cute- even the picture in the right corner, with her little funny face- she just looks so cute! I know, I bias.... but really! she's sweet!
Her face is doing fine today, just a little mark on her nose and above her lip- her check has gone back to normal Charlotte colour! Yeah!

Thanks Again Emily.

Family Photo Shoot

2010-09-25T21:23:00.001-04:00

Today we had a family photo shoot with Emily Krbec Photography
It was booked for the late afternoon- when the sun is beginning to go down, which apparently is best for photos.. but with threats of rain, we moved it up to 12:30. It was overcast for some of the day, and so for the most part- still great weather for photos!

Emily is a friend of mine- Her and her son Kai meet us at playgroup once a week- a time that 'does a mother good' I look forward to playgroup all week long!

The shoot went really well- I came prepared with a few different outfits for Charlotte- hairclips and shoes included!! It was fun!
Charlotte began in a great mood smiling, and playing. We got family pictures on a little wooden bridge, under a weeping willow tree, and in front of a nice garden, in the park. Milton, Noah's frog came in some of the pictures-as close to a 'real' family photo this family can get!... then.. we got these awesome pictures of her with a green and white dress on, sitting on a mini bright yellow chair, against a red barn- I was about 8 inches away from here- just in case she slipped or tipped and fell of the chair... and of course... she did... and I... miss. paranoid mother of the year- didn't catch her! that's right... I didn't catch my daughter as she was plumiting (ok... like 12 inches) to the ground. Guilt Guilt Guilt!
Charlotte was fine- just a little scuf on her cheek- she cried for only a couple of minutes, and then had more pictures taken!
I must say- there weren't as many smiles in the second half of the shoot!- but she was fine, and happy, and cute as always! Red cheek and all. Thankgoodness for PhotoShop and Mummy cuddles!

I am so excited to see the photos! Emily always puts a sneak peak on her blog section of her website.. it's like waiting for Christmas!
Thanks Emily for your patience and your friendship and your fine photography skills! You really are an artist!

Here are a couple of pictures from previous shoots. These aren't us- I'll post some of our pictures, when I get them! Isn't she awesome! there were so many to choose from for me to post here... you should just check out her website and blog yourself! and maybe- join her Facebook group!

Do you live in the GTA? Or are you willing to travel here to get beautiful family pictures? Christmas is coming up! You should have Emily take your photos!
I can't wait to share ours!

New Blog Design

2010-09-13T11:42:00.000-04:00

" />
Thanks Fran from Small Bird Studio for creating this beautiful blog makeover for Charlotte's Blog!

I love it!

Want your blog madeover? get Fran to do it- she's awesome!

I wear my sunglasses at..... play group!

2010-08-29T23:44:00.000-04:00

Charlotte didn't quite get them ON her face! but she does have a little 'super model' face happening hre! Avery and Kai seem to be happy about wearing these BIG glasses!

Cabbage Patch Kid or Flower Child?

2010-08-27T17:51:00.000-04:00

as you can see, Charlotte had a fun time hanging out in Grandma and Poppy's vegetable garden!

She also loved to touch the flowers!

And on her way from the cabbage to the flowers, she stopped by to say hello to her big brother's froggie stone! My Mum made this one, we have a similar at our house in Ontario, made by Charlotte's Godmother, Christine.

The Many Faces of Charlotte Lloyd

2010-08-25T11:06:00.000-04:00

Oh, How I love her.

Cousins

2010-08-24T15:47:00.000-04:00

We went to England for 2 weeks. We had a family wedding- and, those who follow my blogs regularly- know that my brother has a baby girl in May. Norah, who had heart surgery at 2 weeks, is now a thriving, growing, happy little darling.

Here are a few pictures of the cousins- first cousins, Norah and Charlotte. Too bad Noah isn't here to join in the picture fun with the girls- I can just imagine how he would have loved to hold his baby cousin- being almost 2 and a half now.

Here are Charlotte and Norah in matching outfits! :)

Charlotte liked to touch her!

Like Ernie and Bert, in twin beds in a B and B we stayed in! he he he. Charlotte wouldn't stay laying down for the picture- but close enough

Charlotte was not happy about this (we only put her in for a minute, she was in the 'big' tub for her bath.

so cute

the girls and their Grandma- all dressed up for David and Becky's wedding

Hanging out :)

We all had lots of fun in England. It was so nice to have the girls together. Next time- they will probably both be toddlers!

sneak peak

2010-08-16T20:28:00.000-04:00

here is a little sneak peak at the first part of our trip to England.....

Here is Charlotte and \I at the Salisbury Cathedral- it was windy that day,..... see her hair!

this is the place where the Magna Carta is... it's a very very old place, lots of history

Here is our little earthly family at stonehenge!

Charlotte- a my cousin David's wedding! It was a beautiful day- Charlotte enjoyed crawling around during the cocktail portion of the day!

Cousins or Twins?!?! he he he. Kate and \i enjoyed dressing them the same some days!Aren't they adorable! Norah is 3 months, Charlotte is 9 months.

More pictures to come... once I get settled in at home next week!

Dear Charlotte,

2010-07-23T16:44:00.001-04:00

Dear Charlotte,

Your beautiful smile and loving eyes brighten my day.
I wish everyone knew the love of a child. I wish everyone let themselves feel the love of a child- without being busy, rushing through life, without taking things for granted.

Your life- your beautiful life- has lifted me from a dark place. It has reminded me that life is worth living. It has reminded me that God, in fact, is good.

For you I have so many dreams.
Dreams for a long, simple, happy life.
Dreams for a future filled with hope and love
Dreams for you that surpass the dreams I have for myself.

You are only 8 months old.
Yet- I can see you at 2, 5, 12, 17, 24, 32
I see you as a beautiful girl
I see you as a beautiful, lovely teen
I see you as a beautiful, lovely and compassionate woman
Oh, the dreams I have for you.

Looking into your eyes I can see, I can sense that you've been sent here to rescue me
You've been given to me for nothing but good
You're a blessing
It's an honour to call you my daughter.

You are loved Charlotte
So very loved.
Never forget that

Love you forever,
Mummy

Another Weekend Away

2010-07-21T16:43:00.000-04:00

We've been busy this summer. A clear opposite to 2 years ago, just three months after Noah's death- I felt like summer would last forever, and I'd never be able to share it with my baby. It's true, never with Noah. But it is nice to have my Charlotte.

Here are a few pictures from Kingston this weekend!

My adorable little bundle! I never thought I would like these cutesy headbands.... I guess I am a girly-girl at heart!

we went swimming on the weekend! Charlotte liked her floating car.. but only for about 2 minutes!

Auntie Kristin and Daddy enjoyed laying on floatys in the pool- talking and drinking!

Here is great-aunt Jill with Charlotte!

And- it was grammie's birthday! Happy Birthday Grammie!! Am I a good pressie??

80's work-out star??

2010-07-15T09:22:00.000-04:00

I just love her new outfit!:)

doesn't she look like an 80's workout star? I think it's the headband!

hehe

I just love those eyes

Latly- we've been having a little issue with... BITING (and subsequently laughing!). urgh. It hurts. SO I've been saying, No, and putting her down. Here she is!

Charlotte got this sock monkey, we have lovingly named Schmonkey last week. it already looks like it is 1 year old because she just LOVES it!! She is usually sucking on one of his limbs!! here is Charlotte and Schmonley!

Weekend in Kingston

2010-07-14T16:49:00.000-04:00

A couple weekends ago we went to Kingston! We were invited to a pool party on the Saturday.. but unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures!! But, I took pictures from the rest of the weekend! Here are some of C with Matt's side of the family!

Grampie and Charlotte- Before swimming

It's cold Grammie!!!!

Really, Really cold!!!

warming up under towels!

Being serenaded by Grampie, while I get warm!

I met my dog cousin Dexter!

and finally, uncle steve and I get a picture together!

It was a great weekend!

Last Swimming Lesson

2010-07-14T16:31:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago Charlotte had her last swimming lesson. The middle, and last class you are allowed to take pictures! here are a few from the day!

Picture Update

2010-06-24T15:34:00.000-04:00

We're busy this month. I've started an online course, Charlotte has decided that sleeping through the night isn't 'cool' anymore, Daddy is working later than ever, and we leave for England in just over a month!

Charlotte can now sit up! Within a week she went from not really sitting well at all, to being able to sit up for 30 minutes at a time with no problem! she's even started up pull stuff out of her toy bin!

signs

2010-06-14T21:49:00.001-04:00

Look what else we saw in Nova Scotia.
Lots of signs... meaningful to us!

here's Noah's sign- with a frog!! It was the first I saw

Then came this Art Gallery called Charlotte's Web

Then, we saw this sign- for me!!

Uhoh- we didn't see a sign for Matty! Maybe next time we will!

But we did see this, for cousin Norah

Halifax

2010-06-14T10:26:00.000-04:00

We were supposed to travel to Halifax this week... today actually.
But, I got a call last monday, from Sheryl - my friend, who were were going to visit. AND.. she got a job- which HAD to begin today... so.. we called expedia.. and got the ticket changed, and Charlotte and I left later that day! In a way, it was good.. I didn't have time to over think the trip, or over pack! We just threw stuff in a suitcase, and went!
We had a great time. It was nice to be back where I could smell the salt air, and where people aren't so rushed and rude!! It was one step closer to Newfoundland! It really did feel closer to home, other than not having Matty there, of course!!

Here are a few pictures from out trip! As you can see. Charlotte slept through a lot of the fun! we'll have to go back when she's bigger and I think she'd enjoy it more!

On Tuesday we went to Lunenburg. Here I am feeding C her pears for lunch. Sheryl and I were bad, and had cheesecake! It was soo yummy!

In Lunenburg, we went to see the Bluenose- a old schooner. It was there.. but mostly taken apart, as it was about to be taken out of the water, for restoration. BUT... we found a huge lobster trap to put Charlotte in for a picture!

Here is Auntie Sheryl and Charlotte

Back in Halifax, we took Charlotte on her first trip to Mountain Equipment Coop. :)

It seems she likes Nova Scotian swings just as much as Ontarian swings!!

Here we are... in a wave :)

And.. here is Charlotte holding the boarding passes.. saying goodbye to Auntie Sheryl, and silly Uncle Chris!

Thanks for inviting us to visit Sheryl and Chris! We had tons of fun!

Playdates

2010-06-03T20:18:00.002-04:00

** Wow- I just realized that this is my 100th post!! :)

Charlotte has a very busy social calendar!
She does well though, and still sleeps a lot, and eats well. I think taking her out, and living life with her, sometimes a little busy, helps her to be able to be 'herself' in situations other than her own house!!

Here is a friend, Charlene, with Charlotte, and her little one, Daniella, she was born just 2 weeks after Charlotte!!

Charlotte was trying out Addison's play gym! Then, Addison came in too! Addison is four weeks old! you can sort of see that Charlotte is trying to hold her hand!

here is Charlotte with Matthew and Reece, her friends that she sees most Thursdays! all having a little tummy time!

although we had a very busy week... we spent some time just relaxing in the house, and in the backyard!!!

lots of smiles and laughs this week! Charlotte is one person in the whole who can make sure her mummy smiles every day... no matter what!

it's been a busy week, but a good one!

I haven't written much in my Letters to Noah blog lately... for some reason, and I think I am figuring it all out in my head, I just can't write. I have the need to write- much of the time.. but keep censoring myself. Makes for an annoying and anxious head space!

How did you spend your week?

Jane

Outfit from my grandparents, and sunny days

2010-05-29T19:11:00.000-04:00

Here is Charlotte in her new outfit from Grammie and Grampie! :)

I got her the shoes, but the shirt and skirt are from Grammie and Grampie!

and a close up- Mummy loves closeups!

maxin' and relaxin'

In my Canadian Cutie shirt... it might not fit by the time Canada Day comes along... so I figured she should get some wear out of it!

Today was a very bright sunny day! Charlotte played outside while Daddy and I planted some flowers and cleaned up the garden!

Here is daddy, planting some pepper plants!

Here is Mummy putting soil in the new tomato plant holder- it's a new gadget Daddy got for Mummy- it grows the tomatoes upside down!!

Charlotte sat up today, while outside for a good 30 seconds, all by herself without falling! pretty impressive!! I'm sure soon, she'll be crawling all around!!

Playdate with Baby A

2010-05-27T11:45:00.000-04:00

Today was our regular Wednesday playdate.

But we decided to go on a little roadtrip to go shopping!

C still fits in A's little car seat, because her's is bigger! Here they are together in the car! How cute!

When we got home, C was happy in her seat for a few minutes. Avery played with her! it was pretty cute!!

The girls love playing! Apparently, C likes the 'non-toys' best! Like the margarine container lid! hahaha

We had a great day! Thanks Hope and Avery!

Grammie, Grampie and TOYS!

2010-05-24T15:16:00.001-04:00

Grammie and Grampie visited me for the whole weekend! We had a lot of fun!
Mummy forgot to take many pictures because she was excited to be able to do other things- like cook, and relax, and do laundry without always having to be worrying about me!

Thanks for the new Penguin toy! it's so much fun!

Grampie is showing me how it works!

Playing on grampie's tummy it a lot of fun!

Oh- and this Jumperoo that you gave me for Christmas- I just love it now! I bounce and bounce and bounce!!

See....

and after all that! Mummy and I were tuckered out! Daddy found us like this!

Thanks for visiting! come again soon!

Charlotte's Hello to Norah

2010-05-17T22:15:00.000-04:00

Charlotte is a smart girl
I left her in the living room for one minute.. and look what I found when I came back...:)

She is so thoughtful- saying hello to her little cousin before she can even talk! :)Doesn't she have nice penmanship

Did I mention she is eating EVERYTHING right now!!

Charlotte has been teething a lot latly, no teeth yet- but I think (and hope) that they come soon! She's been a bit grumpy and irritable, and I can tell her little gums hurt so much sometimes.

On top of that, her and I have a bit of a cold. I think I am worse than she is, thank goodness.

She is 6 months old today. Half a year. It's done by so quickly.

Ps. I have had 2 major pet peeves latly. I feel like I may burst the next time I hear them.. I hate it when people say 'everything happens for a reason'- that's a load of poop
and I hate it when people call living babies Angels.. especially my living baby. I know they mean well.. but come on.
sorry.. just had to vent!

Grandma and Poppy's Visit

2010-05-12T22:17:00.001-04:00

Grandma and Poppy visited us last week- on their way to England to visit the newest addition to the family.
Here are some pictures of their visit!

here is grandma and Charlotte:)

here she is hamming in up in her high chair for grandma! she loved being fed by grandma!

Grandma gave her a bath- Charlotte liked to look at her book while she was getting clean!!

here's poppy and C, reading!

doesn't this just look like poppy is telling her stories, and Charlotte is taking it all in?

thanks for the mirror grandma! I love it!!!!!

poppy and grandma sat with me in the back seat. I usually don't like people with me back there.. but I tolerated it!!! Daddy picked out my cow print car seat!!

Peter (my brother) and Kate had their baby. After many hours of labour, and complications, she had a C-section. The baby girl wasn't named for a couple of days, however they finally named her Norah Elizabeth.

Norah is Noah with an R in the middle of it!!! and Elizabeth is my middle name (and Kate's too). I was honoured when they named her Norah- I"m not sure if they realized how similar it is to Noah, or if that was a thought when they chose the name- but it means a lot to me.

I can't wait to meet the little one. They live in England. We have plans to travel there in August! It will be so nice for Charlotte and Norah to meet, and play together.. although, C will be 9months, and Norah will be 3 months-- I think Charlotte will have the upper hand!!

Anyway, here are a couple pictures of the baby, and family.

Swimming/Mother's Day

2010-05-10T07:22:00.000-04:00

I've just experienced my first Mother's day with a living child. It was definitely a day filled with emotion- but to tell you the truth I was fixated on my brother, and my sister-in-law who were in labour half way accross the world in England. Finally- late last night- we heard that they had a baby girl, 7lbs 8oz. and Mum and Baby are doing fine!. Phew- Ii realized after I had finally heard the news (she has been in the hospital since Thursday), that I was very preoccupied with this- and really wasn't able to relax, enjoy, or do anything with my whole heart until I heard that everything was ok with my niece!

Yesterday at C's swimming classes it was picture day!- at swimming usually there is no photos allowed- for privacy etc. but 2 of the days- it is allowed! yesterday was one of them! She also got a progress report- her first report card!

Here are a few pictures from her swimming- she is with daddy in them all because we take turns going in with her each week- and it was his turn!!!

with grandma before the class started!

It's so great to share all these special moments as a family! but still, bittersweet without my boy

Walks to Noah's tree

2010-05-06T11:03:00.000-04:00

Most days, when we don't have company, and it isn't freezing, or raining- we go for a little walk down to the park, where Noah's tree is planted. The other day, I remembered my camera! here are a few pictures from our little family walk.

growing up

2010-05-06T10:50:00.000-04:00

Little miss Charlotte is growing up so much. It's so surreal, and hard to beleive. She was so tiny when she was born- so fragile. I couldn't bare, while I was pregnant with her to think too much about the future- what she would look like, act like etc. I didn't want to get too ahead of myself. Sometimes, I still feel that way. I kow the pain of losing it all. But, as it stands right now- she is the most perfect and lovely thing on this earth to me and Matt. Here are a few recent pictures

Ok.. maybe she is a little small and wobbly for a cart! My arm was getting tired, so I put her in and hung on to her that way!

Charlotte hates bottles... but loves sippy cups! I"m not sure if it's because she is teething and the little spouts are nice to chew on, or if it's for the little bit of water inside! My guess is teething- she has probably had about a teaspoon of water out of a sippycup all together!! she just loves to play with it, and put it in her mouth!

Will she be left handed??? I hope so! she loves trying to use a spoon too! it's very cute! I usually let her hold one while I feed her!

this is just cute!! she's really starting to want to move! I don't think it will be too, too long before she crawls around!

sitting up with her toy and doggy! aren't they sweet!

Photo Update

2010-04-27T13:33:00.000-04:00

We've had a busy time the last couple of weeks.Here is an update in pictures

Here is Charlotte- she plays with more now, loves her tummy, and her 'Baby Tad'- although she wants us to press the buttons, while she watches!

Here she is- sitting with the help of a big pillow!

She loves swinging!

This is the dress the Easter Bunny got her! She's she cute!

She loves her apple! and of course, her frog!

and her kitty and bunny!!

On Facebook, Beth said that Charlotte looks a lot like Noah here- and it's true, she does!

This is my cutie in her last time in her baby car seat- she takes after her daddy and is too long for hers! The baby seat was bought for Noah, so it is a few years old, and has smaller measurements than the newer ones. She now has a brand new Britax Marathon carseat- in cowmooflage print- I voted for black onyx- but daddy won - and we got the cow print! he he he!! it's cute!

Here she is with one of the new shirts we got in when we went on a trip to the outlets in the USA. Out for a stroll in the stroller, again, apple doesn't go far (actually this is apple #2- he's attached to the stroller!)

Daddy fixed the grass in our backyard and put some sod in! Here are the kids, trying it out!!

April 14th was Daddy's birthday! we opened some pressies and had the neighbours over for cupcakes that mummy made! the cupcakes say 'happy 29th Matty'

Charlotte was sleeping for the photo-op- but these are new aprons made by Grandma DuDu, just for Daddy and C. For all their baking/cooking/gardening/garage working needs!

and today was squash day- she wasn't so impressed!

5 months

2010-04-22T11:22:00.001-04:00

I just looked through a DVD of pictures that my friend Sheryl gave me, of Charlotte's baptism. On it, were a few pictures of when she was first born.
It's hard now, just 5 months later to imagine just how small she was, and how much she has grown.
Isn't it amazing how a human life can grow so much just on the love and nurturing of a mother's milk and a happy family!
It amazes me some days.

Here she is with 'Auntie Sheryl'

November 18th...

April 13th.... What a difference 5 months makes

Imagine.. in another 5 months she will probably look completely different again!

Dear God

2010-04-20T19:43:00.000-04:00

Dear God,

Today I watched Oprah.
Why is it that one woman, can have 14 children
8 of which came at the same time
all reasonably happy.
and I can't have both of mine?
Thank you for Charlotte- she's wonderful.
But why'd you have to take my Noah?

PS: God- unfortunately, no answer is good enough to that last question- sorry, I guess it is a trick

Smiles and twinkles, no more

2010-04-19T10:48:00.002-04:00

I find myself worried sick about many people right now.

I have numerous friends/acquaintances/family who are due to deliver their babies within the next few months. Many in the next few weeks, for a couple- days

I can't help but be so scared for them, so worried.

I know what it is like to be 30, or 39, or even 41 weeks pregnant with your first child. So happy, living in an innocent bliss, a pregnancy glow, dreaming of the future and all it has to bring with that child.

I also know what it is like to have that one day, and lose it the next. To go from pure and utter amazement and joy, to devastation and heartbreak in a matter of hours. To see that one beautiful creature you have been waiting for since you were a little girl, who everyone told you, even society tells you- will be perfect- leave, leave, leave- and never return. Dreams shattered, futures changed, that smile- the particular one I used to have- that I will never get back.

I find myself checking their FB statuses, wanting to know how they're doing, if they've delivered- almost waiting for that bad news. I hope with all my heart, and all my strength that all of their situations will be ones that they've dreamed of- perfect and blissful- and not mirror my situation, in any way. But I can't help thinking- being scared, worrying.
I love these women, these families.

Sometimes I just wish I could call them, go over and see them and tell them what I'm thinking. Let them know that odds of - pre-term labour, stillbirth, pulmonary or cardiac issues, bowel issues- the list goes on.
But I'm not going to. I think people would think I am a freak- scaring these poor women, who are about to imbark on the best years of their lives.
In hindsight- I wish someone told me that my baby dying was not impossible.... I mean, of course I knew it wasn't impossible- I'm a logical person.- But it isn't anywhere- really- 'What to expect when you're expecting'- nope, BabyCentre.com weekly email updates- nope, Monthly doctor visits- nope... It's like this dark cloud lurking- that everyone tries to keep in their blind spot. This thing that doesn't happen to them- only to some people- you know, like, that girl that lives up the street, or, that girl I used to skate with, or that girl that I taught with last year, or, that girl that goes to our church and sits on the left with her tall husband -- yip-- all those-- that's me.
However, in hindsight- I suppose it doesn't matter- No one could ever have told me just how difficult and lonely this road could be. Just how much 2 years later, a little boy, who lived for only 2 days could still mean to me. Just how much I would never, ever feel like myself again. Just how much I can stop caring about so much, for just a long time, just how much it hurts, pains my every nerve, every innermost part of me to life this live- every day- without my Noah.
No one would have convinced me of that when I was blissfully happy and pregnant with him. No one. That couldn't happen to me, could it? That only happens to bad people-poor people- 3rd world country people- unhealthy people-negligent people- Not to Jane and Matt- the couple who are none of those things- the couple who have been together since High School- talking about and waiting for the right time to have children, from pretty much day one. Dreaming of that little boy- who we had--- we had him--- we had him for two whole days- long enough for our dreams to become a reality for our future- but then come crashing down around us.

I think I will always look at pregnant women and be a few things- jealous, nervous, scared and worried.
I wish I was just one thing- happy.
But I'm not
-- welcome new reality-- I hate you
-- goodbye innocent bliss-- I miss you

I leave you- with a few pictures- from when Matty and I had 'that' smile- that twinkle in our eyes- that left us, right along with our first born son. Sure- we are extremely happy right now- we have a beautiful daughter- who is filling our life with so, so, so, much happiness. But we've lost such a big part of ourselves.

I miss those smiles.

I miss my boy- much, much more.

Daddy's Girl and Back to myself

2010-04-12T13:01:00.000-04:00

After I fed and dressed Charlotte for Church on Sunday, I gave her to Matt to hang out with while I popped in the shower.
Look what I found when I got out!

Isn't this perfect.

Then, I got dressed, put in a load of laundry, and went back into the room- to this!

He he he, Casey even wanted in on the sleeping/cuddling!

I woke up this morning and realized that I have done NOTHING around the house for about the past 2 weeks. Well, Yes, I've cooked meals, and did some laundry. But nothing else. I usually do something each day, or at least clean up after myself.

I think it's the time of year- with Noah's birthday and everything I just get into a funk. A state of numbness, grumpiness and disarray- just waiting for my world to implode on my again.

Of course, nothing has changed. My son is still gone.
But this week, thank goodness- I am able to be me. Somewhat happy most of the time, able to pick my butt off of the couch and sweep the floor, organize a cupboard, wipe a surface. Able to smile again.

I am hoping that at some point, even the week of Noah's birthday I will be able to be myself. Still grieving always, still missing him always- but be myself. That would be nice. Maybe his birthday would actually get celebrated then, and not un-celebrated!

On a side note- anyone heard from Beth? I"m hoping she is just taking a break from the internet world, and that she is OK as she can be right now.

It's s sunshiny day here in Toronto area- once Charlotte wakes from her nap, I think we will go for a nice long walk!

Rice Cereal Test Run

2010-04-09T10:16:00.000-04:00

and then, our camera battery died!
Isn't she cute?
I think so!

We've had fun lately!

2010-04-06T13:44:00.000-04:00

Here she is in a little spring dress

We went Geocaching as a family- and found some swings! she's still a little small- but she had fun! She didn't want to go back in her stroller right away... so look what ended up happening!

Casey loved his stroller ride!!! isn't he a silly doggy!

Easter in Kingston

2010-04-06T13:38:00.000-04:00

We went to Kingston for the Easter weekend!
Here are a few pictures from our trip!

Grannie Giff was happy to see us! We drove to Smiths Falls on Saturday to have a visit!

Grannie Lloyd came for Easter Dinner on Sunday! She could hardly stop looking at Charlotte to look up for a picture!

Grammpie helped Charlotte open her Easter gift from he and Grammie!

Daddy read a few books, while Charlotte listened closely- and held onto her apple!

We all visited Noah's grace, and put balloons and flowers for his birthday!

and look... we even saw the Easter bunny.... carrot and all!

Charlotte is growing so fast! She now rolls both ways! Today she's rolled 5 times from her back to her belly!!

She loves walks in the stroller, and hanging out with us at home!

The Roll, The Swim, The Sun, and Kathlyn's outfit..... and Anxiety

2010-04-02T15:48:00.002-04:00

Little Miss Charlotte rolled over (finally!)
I saw her do it out of the corner of my eye
She was just waking up from a little tummy nap
and this is how I found her, in her play pen!

She was very proud of herself.

we had our first swimming lesson last sunday! Here she is in her little swim suit, which is still a little big! She LOVED swimming!

We've had a couple bright, sunshiny days here in Brampton! So we've been doing a lot of this! The minute we start rolling in the stroller- this is what she looks like! Sound Asleep!

Hello!

Beth, Kathlyn's Mommy sent Charlotte this beautiful little Summery outfit! It fits now! and is just so beautiful on her. I sent Beth a picture, for her album! I really appreciate the outfit. I gave some of Noah's things to people, and love to see when their little one wears it! This should fit for a while, as her growth has started to even out-- so I'm sure you'll be seeing more photos in the future!

Anxiety:

It's Noah's birthday soon... on Wednesday actually.

His 2nd birthday.

Ohh, what I'd do to have a little 2 year old running around.. but not just any 2 year old... MY 2 year old, MY Noah. People who think that subsequent babies can replace the first who is lost are SO wrong. I love Charlotte with all my heart- but she doesn't replace my Noah. He's irreplaceable!

Just like last year, the time leading up to his birthday, and subsequent 'death' day is so difficult. I relive stuff, in the most vivid ways- I question why, what if, how come?

I wonder how life would be different

I wonder what I've done to deserve this

My insides shake with the anxiety of just how I will get through the week ahead without crashing into that big black hole that is forever looming next to me.

Last year- the actual days were far 'better' than the days before.

I think it makes it worse that it's Easter right before. It might even make it worse that we are going to Kingston to 'celebrate' Easter, when all I want to do is be with myself, my Charlotte and my stuff.. at my own house- grieving the way I grieve and doing what I need to for myself. Not worrying about who's going to cry and sputter at the mere mention of Noah's name. I love to talk about him- some in our family- just can't. and that is so hard for me right now... when that's what I need the most- people to be able to talk about him, about his life and his death, about his impact on the world, on them, on me.

When we're in Kingston, we will put a birthday balloon at his grave, like we always do.

Hopefully the grass will have started to come up, and it won't be too wet. I'd love to get some pictures of Charlotte with her brother. Some people may think I am crazy for that... pictures with our innocent, sweet baby, with a headstone of her dead brother..... Yip, that's right, you heard that right. It's all I've got.

I've been feeling a little sad lately for Charlotte. She was born into grief. Born into a lifetime of a lost brother. Born without the protection of a big brother she should have had. It will make life a little more difficult for her, in many ways. Ways people might not think about.. and only she will know. How many siblings do you have? Why are there pictures of a random baby in your house? Who's that Noah name on all those Christmas ornaments? Why are you sad today? Why is your Mummy sad today? Why is your mother so protective, and paranoid when you are even a little sick? These are all questions, and there are many more, that she will have to answer, think about.. Questions she shouldn't have to.

Ok.. I'm done now.

I could write forever about my anxiety- this time of year-Charlotte and what she will deal with- Noah... but I must stop and continue being a normal, mother

Noah's 2nd Birthday... wanna help?

2010-03-31T17:16:00.003-04:00

I have decided to do something for someone else for Noah's birthday. If he were here- it would be all about him, trucks, tanks, monkeys and trampolines I"m sure.
But he isn't here. We won't have 10, 2 year olds running around the house, playing games and eating pizza. There won't be a party.

Instead- I've decided that each year, I am going to try to donate something, to someone.

In the 'blog world', I've met a number of women who have lost their babies/children.
Kristin (onceamother.blogspot.com) , lost her baby Peyton Elizabeth to a rare form of Cancer at just 28 days of age. Peyton was born on my 27th birthday.. just five months after Noah was born and died.
In memory or Peyton, Kristin has started something called 'Doing Good in Her Name'.
to read more go here: http://www.doinggoodinhername.com

I am going to put together a box of stuff- for the foundation, so that she can donate it to the hospital wards that need it. Things that other parents will have to make special memories with their children. This will be done in memory, and in honour of my Noah. So far I have clothing, toys, booties, books and cd's!

You can help me
1. If you are in the area, why don't you go to the website, check out what they need and drop something bye my house before next Friday (April 9th). I'll pay to ship it, along with my things. ( http://www.doinggoodinhername.com)
2. . You can send things in yourself
3. You can donate money to the organization
4. You can pray for all of those families we will be helping, and for Peyton's family.
5. If you would rather- you can donate money to the Noah Awards (this will be next years birthday donation- but we can always use more!) http://www.med.mun.ca/PHRU/Noah-Awards.aspx
6. Either way- check out the two websites- take a moment to pray/think about all of the families who are at this very moment, going through the battle of fighting for their children's lives, or saying goodbye to their child... and send a birthday wish to the stars for my Noah.
Thank you to Jennifer at The Blue Sparrow (http://jenn625.blogspot.com/) who sparked this idea for me, when posting her Mustard Seed giveaway idea.
Thanks for helping me make Noah's birthday an honourable one!

Jane, Matt and Charlotte.

1st time in the high chair

2010-03-27T21:37:00.000-04:00

Let me start by saying something....
I'f thought of this for a while, but feel I need to voice it now.
for those of you who have lost an infant, and are following/reading this blog. Please feel free to 'unfollow' if you need/want to. I understand how difficult it can be to read a blog with happy baby pictures, and different milestones when you didn't get the chance to have those moments with your child who died. I must say- sometimes it is still hard for me, and I have a healthy subsequent baby. It's the baby boys for me...
So, please know, that I won't be hurt if you choose to unfollow.
I write this blog for family, friends (online, BLM, and 'real' life), but mostly for Charlotte, so when she is older she can see for herself, just how proud we are, and how beautiful she is.

Today Charlotte went in her high chair for the first time. I am starting to put her in it at meal times, so she gets used to sitting at the table with us. Right now- she just has toys, because she still only nurses, no food yet- but in a couple weeks... we'll start on rice cereal- so I want her to be used to her high chair! I'm sure the next high chair pictures I post- will be.... messy ones! these- clean :)

A few too many toys I think Mummy!!

Look at that beautiful face!

Here she is with a little smirk on her face!

Here is Charlotte's attempt to roll over... she just goes half way! Her shoulders are working.. but I guess her hips are a little heavier!

Auntie Tanya came and stayed with us for a few days after the Baptism weekend! We had so much fun! We cuddled a lot- and she played with me really well! It was sad when she had to go home, I hope she'll come visit again soon!!

Swimming lessons begin tomorrow!! :)

Charlotte's Baptism

2010-03-23T10:15:00.000-04:00

Here is her dress- unfortunately I can't figure out how to turn the picture after I uploaded it!

My mum made this dress for my older cousin!

The font!

Charlotte and Mummy!

Christine (godmother), daddy, mummy and charlotte and Jamie (the minister)

Christine and Charlotte

Charlotte (looking a little mad!) and my Noah tattoo

At the 'after party' she changed into a shorter little white dress! here she is!

Grammpie and Charlotte

The Baptism was beautiful.. Noah was honoured, and Charlotte was glowing!

The journey home

2010-03-10T09:42:00.000-05:00

Here are a few shots of us on the plane. Charlotte was pretty good on the plane and slept most of the way! A few little cries, but overall, she was a model passenger!

We'll have to see what it's like if I end up going to England this summer.. with just her and I! ahhh.... anyone wanna go to England with me?? I may need help for the LONG haul!

Adventure at Auntie's

2010-03-10T09:35:00.000-05:00

The night before we came home, charlotte and I went over to my Aunt Denise's house. This is Tomas, my cousin, Aria, his girlfriend, and Charlotte!

he he he

getting a little sleepy. This is Curly, Tomas' teddy!

tuckered out!!

Thanks Shea family for the fun evening!

Seafood Feast

2010-03-10T09:27:00.000-05:00

Finally, the whole family was feeling well enough to EAT!

Here is Charlotte with the lobsters! I'm sure in a couple years she will play with them before they are cooked.... like I used to when I was a little girl!

But first... the appetizer- Muscles! Yummy!

Poppy thinks they are all for him... little does he know- we all love them!

Yes.. she is on the table!! it's ok.... right?

She enjoyed hanging out on the table with us, and it was some good tummy time!

Lobster- cooked and ready to eat!

This is an empty wine bottle. This is a very expensive bottle of wine which my parents bought for when their first grandchild was born.... but, they forgot to bring it when Noah was born. So, then, they said it will be for when the first grandchild came to Newfoundland to visit. It was cellared for a long time, and made the trip to Newfoundland in a car... so we weren't sure if it would be turned to vinegar, or taste good..... it was really, really good.. I only had a sip or so- but it was much better than any other wine i've tasted!

Random Snapshots from our trip

2010-03-04T08:31:00.000-05:00

This is when we first arrived! Gramma was so excited to see Charlotte... Charlotte was rudely awakened by us, getting off the plane! Just ater this picture, she screamed for about 2 hours, then slept for 10!

Looking at Gramma!

Gramma's been doing a lot of caring for Charlotte (minus the feeding!) while we are here, because Matt and I have both come down with a nasty flu/gastro 'plague'! I feel better now, hopefully Matt will soon.

Charlotte hasn't gotten it, and hopefully she won't. I think the anti-bodies from my milk are helping keep her safe!

Charlotte playing with Noah's froggy

This is my old fashioned doll pram! charlotte almost didn't fit... and didn't really love it! he he he. When Charlotte isn't in it, Noah and Charlotte's heartbeat bears, from their 3/d ultrasounds hang out in there together!.. I'll have to remember to take a picture!

Aria, my cousin's girlfriend and Charlotte. My cousin, Tomas didn't want to hold her! I guess she is still a little, little for a 18 year old boy!!

Playing with Mummy's childhood toys! She loved her puppets!!!!!!

Having a nap with her girly John Deere sheet!

A very happy girl in her car seat!

Auntie and I! With.... premie hats on.... long story! these were made by someone for the NICU where she works! These two with the brim unfolded.... almost fit us!... I know we are bad...

Our trip has been nice. We haven't done any 'Newfoundlandy' things like sight seeing or anything.. mostly because we've been sick, we don't have a lot of time, and we've seen everything before. Although it would be nice to get pictures of Charlotte at the beautiful sights of the province.

Airport

2010-03-01T16:25:00.000-05:00

Here are Charlotte and Daddy! She loved it in the baby bjorn- looking around at all the people! I think she is going to be a people watcher!

She fell asleep, so we hung out in a pretty vacant part of the airport, and let her have a nap!

As soon as Daddy got to sleep..... Charlotte woke up!!

So they played a little! Charlotte likes to act like a seal now! her legs and shoulders are often off the ground!

Overall it was a very uneventful plane ride and airport visit!

She slept the whole time in the plane!

We are safely in Newfoundland, rain and all!

Charlotte has had to adjust to the new 'pace' of life here... usually life in Newfoundland is slower paced, but compared to just her and I at our house, this is a busy household!

Off to entertain dinner guests! Charlotte of course, is the one they are all coming to see

More updates later, I've taken some cute pictures on my dad's camera.... just have to figure out how to get them on my computer!

In Daddy's Chair

2010-02-22T13:10:00.000-05:00

Well, this has been a crazy week!
As you know, Charlotte has had a bit of a cold. Well, on Friday morning, I got a huge scare. She had blood and mucus in her spitup. Of course, this was just from her cold, and having irritated sinuses- but to a mother whose baby had an 'unnoticed' and 'misdiagnosed' -stuff in spit up- and then later, died- this was very, very, scary.
For a moment, I wondered whether I was only destined to mother young infants before they were taken away from me. I know, to some of you, who haven't dealt with such a loss, this sounds silly, and even in my 'rational mind' it sounds silly.. but beleive me- it was very real that day.

She is doing much better now, still has a stuffy nose, but is much better. She is sleeping a lot, I think because she has a cold, but also, because she is in a great little 'routine' now. Imagine that- I nursed, sang and rocked her to sleep, didn't put her down much as a newborn, and YES, she is now into a routine.... (this is a sarcastic sentence, meant to poke fun at the 'people' who gave me tons of advice at the beginning saying she would never get into a proper routine and be able to put herself to sleep if I continued what I was doing! HA!) ...

Here she is in her daddy's chair... what a daddy's girl she is!

and practice sitting on her pillow! he he he