Friday, February 18, 2011

Daycare Drama...

I got a big shocking email yesterday.
Charlotte's caregiver emailed in the middle of the day to say that we have to talk about a possible end date for Charlotte being in her care.

It came as a shock..  I knew she was crying, more often then probably most do at the beginning of daycare, I know she is very needy for attention, especially adult attention at this stage in her life... but... it had been 8 full days, that's it.... and for the last few days when I had picked her up... she had been playing, not crying- playing on her own.  She was only there from 8:30 or 9 until 3:30 or 4, she slept a full 3 hrs, or more most days, and she ate lunch and snack just fine.... the provider said each day that she played a certain that doesn't leave too much time left for crying... and if she was playing sometimes... then she obviously could be calmed down, and could be happy there. Charlotte never ran to us for dear life when we came to get her, she just looked up and smiled, and put her arms up- then, usually went back to play with her ltitle puppy toy she brought from home.  I think there might be more going on then I know- maybe she is looking for an excuse to give Charlotte up, maybe a little baby, with no transition issues would be easier for the money? I don't know... I feel like there must be something I don't know.. after only 8 full days.

I understand from the email that Charlotte's crying was affecting the other children (2 of her own, and one little boy the same age as Charlotte).  They didn't like her crying (obviously).
I guess Charlotte being there, and taking her time to get used to it changed the dynamic of the daycare, and wasn't a good fit.

Anyway- in the  email (EMAIL), she said she could try it for another two weeks and if she doesn't settle in completly, then she would have to go... but... maybe it's just too 'mother hen' of me... but Charlotte is not being there, without me for another second on her own. I don't feel like any harm would come to her... but I also don't want Charlotte somewhere where she isn't 100% wanted.  I don't feel comfortable with that.

I understand that Charlotte craves attention... and needs adult attention often... but don't all 1 year olds?

Anyway.. I'm confused, and a little upset at myself for letting her transition somewhere that wasn't going to work- and now she has to do it all again (if we ever find another daycare). For now, I had to say no to working today... so I could be home with her. Something I wish I could do anyway, but unfortunatly, it isn't in the cards.

Here is a picture of her, that the daycare provider send me from her 2nd full day at daycare... I guess this was one of her 'happy moments'... doesn't looks  like she's in distress, or has been crying all morning!                                    

So now, we are on the hunt for another daycare- home daycares are pretty much the only option, as organized daycares here don't start until the child is 2 years old.
Any ideas for looking?
any things to look for when interviewing someone/looking around the place?
any ideas for helping Charlotte's independence?  at home? at daycare?

ideas? tips? hints?
much appreciated!


Hope's Mama said...

Wow, Jane I had no idea this could happen. Angus hasn't been in any form of daycare yet but I fear the day when and if I have to take him, as I'm quite sure he wouldn't like it and that it would be a stressful time for all. Here in Australia, you can take babies to organised day care centres from the age of six weeks, so I'm sorry it doesn't work like that in your country. I hope you and Charlotte find a solution soon.

Krista said...

To me, that sounds like normal behaviour. Eight days isn't a long "transition". Is this woman experienced with young babies (other than her own children)? I'm not trying to be rude - I'm serious. It's fine to be good with your own children, or older children, but a little 1+ year old crying in the mornings is normal from what my friend Corry (a home daycare provider and ECE) says.

I agree, you probably don't want Charlotte in a daycare where she isn't wanted. Plus, this woman was not professional in emailing you to say that after 8 days she's concluded she can't handle a 1-year-old who cries for maybe an hour or slightly more (at most) in the morning.

Plus, it's usually customary and polite to give lots of "notice" before kicking a kid out of daycare anyway. Corry has kicked out 1 kid in 5 years, and this little girl had been with her for 2 1/2 years. She told them verbally and in a handwritten note the reasons, and gave them 2-1/2 months to find a new daycare.

If you do start looking for another daycare, good luck. I've heard they can be hard to find :(

Krista said...

Oh, and this kid Corry kicked out was a bully. She was bullying the 4 or 5 other kids in the home daycare. The parents didn't believe Corry that the girl was doing these actions and refused to do anything to change the behaviours. Corry was actually becoming fearful the girl was going to really hurt one of the other children.

Not exactly the same as Charlotte. Not by a long shot.

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