Sunday, June 21, 2009


Well.. the neck and back are MUCH better than I expected- which is wonderful! just a little stiff!!!
Only a couple of weeks until we find out if the baby is a girl or boy! yippy.. that is, if the little one cooperates!


17 weeks

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Can I catch a break please??

My Goodness
I am trying so hard to be positive this pregnancy- so not slip back too much into my crazy anxiety and the parts of the constant grief that I will forever live with that make it hard to function. I'm trying so hard, SO hard.
and then... spotting at 8 weeks, fifths disease at school.. and now... a car accident.

I was rear-ended this morning at rush hour on my way to work. I was just about stopped- as were al the cars ahead of me- brake lights on and all and then BOOM, the car in back of me apparently wasn't watching.

I went to work after exchanging information- and called my husband, and dad. I called the doctor when the office opened and made an appointment.
Right when it hapened, nothing hurt all that bad, just a little tight- but now.. OUCH! I've never had neck or back pain- it's bad!
Dr. says I have whip-lash and gave me a physio referal.
The baby seems fine- good heart beat.
Now we have to deal with insurance and body shops and forms etc. oh my, just what we need!
Speaking of that... must go email the insurance lady!!


Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Matt came home yesterday and told me that the weirdest thing happened.

A lady, who obviously was renting a car, came in to his office- she looked at him and said- 'you're having a baby'- he said he was a little shocked and said, Yes...... she said 'It's a boy- I just know it'. Matt didn't ask anythign else- as he was a little shocked, and freaked out by this person!

I just think it's funny!! Doesn't make things any different- I still think I'm having a girl this time- and hey- maybe she 'saw', or 'felt' Noah on Matt's mind- and not the new baby?

Anyway- just thought that was interesting!!

Is matt starting to look pregnant??? I don't think so!!! Here we both are with a butterfly from the Butterfly release on Sunday!

16 weeks 2 days!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Couldn't Wait!

Well... I know I said it would probably take me a few days to call for an ultrasound.. but NOPE.. I found time today before school to call, and book an appointment!
So, hopefully we will know if we are having a little boy, or a girl on July 9th! Yippy!
I"m sort of going through ultrasound withdrawl.. I had 5 before 12 weeks.. and now.. nothing until 19.5,,, ahhh... hopefully I don't go nuts by then.

Just a little update!
Today is 15 weeks, 3 days!


Tuesday, June 9, 2009


I Like her! Yippy!
Takes a tiny weight off my shoulders.. which is nice.

She came in, and didn't have to ask 'is this your first pregnany'.. etc... she had read my file and history, a week before, and said she took a while to come into the room, because she was reviewing it again, to remind herself of everything. It's nice that she took the time to understand.

Everything seems good- I"ll have to call to get an ultrasound soon- might not have time til Friday, or next week- because I am sooo busy the next few days at school.
Didn't get a section date- but she said it would be about 39 weeks (so around the 20th of November) - unless of course I threaten to go into labour before that.

The next week or so at school is soo incrediably busy- with fun fair and talent show, a free the children workshop, graduation, and of course everything else that comes with the end of school. Then, Luckily I have 2 weeks off before going back for the month of July. Then, 4 weeks until the new year in september... then.. a couple months until I'm off.. with a baby, hopefully for a long time!


Monday, June 8, 2009

Appointment Tomorrow

Tomorrow I meet my new OB.. the person who will be responsible for dealing with me- a hormonal, worried mess.. which I'm sure will only multiply as the months go on.
I am worried that I won't like her, and I will have to go through the process of having to find someone else... I'm sure she is good though.. she was recomended to me by our geneticist, who I really like. Maybe I'm just worried because I can be.. and right now, the littlest things can get me going.

I"m hoping to get a ultrasound requisition so I can go soon to my 2nd trimester screening.. and hopefully they can determine the gender. I'm also hoping that they will give me a section date- but it may be a little early for that!

Anyway.. keep your fingers and toes crossed for a good, successful visit tomorrow- I just hope I feel some compassion from her .. and that she takes my craziness seriously and doesn't tell me to chill out.. because really.. it's not gonna happen!

:) Maybe I'll post again soon.. with an update :)

Monday, June 1, 2009

2nd T

Well here we are- at the 2nd trimester.. I think, in the real, regular pregnancy world, I am supposed to feel a huge sense of relief, a sense of excitment. Humm.. I feel it.. a little... i guess.. maybe...

I guess it's because we've been through all this before.. nervous 1st trimester, wonderful 2nd and 3rd trimester, relatively easy birth, 2 wonderful days with the most beautiful little man in the world and then.... BOOM gone.. everything taken away.

We didn't get the- baby comes home, new family walking in the front door, baby meets doggy for the first time, first sleep in baby's crib, first bath at home, first smile.. nothing.. none of it.

It feels like we've done all this before- and although we received the wonderful gift of Noah, we really did get gypt.. really, we did- because we didn't get to see the more wonderful little man grow up, or do all the things he was supposed to do, with the people who love him so much.

I think it's hard for Matt and I to assume that everything will be fine this time- because we did that last time- and it really didn't work out.

We bought a bassinet, basically the only thing we didn't have for a baby, because we weren't going to use one with Noah- he was going to go straight to the crib- Now, I really want the baby in our room with us.. so I can constantly check on he/she without having to get up and leave my room. I have a feeling it will just give me a little more peace of mind.
Anyway- the bassinet- it felt so weird- almost like we were spending the money (and they aren't cheap!) for nothing- like.. maybe we should wait... but I'm glad we didn't. I'm glad we are going things for this baby- similar things that we did for Noah- Picture day outfits (I get the baby an outfit, or piece of clothing everytime we have an ultrasound- for picture day! hehe).. things like that. I'm excited for this baby.. but still am really unable to be certain, or even relatively sure that this baby will come home.. I know, in theory, there is only about 1-2 percent chance of death now.. and about 1.8% of those are before birth, and I know that statistics are with us- as most people don't have two babies die after a healthy pregnancy and birth.... but it happens... it does happen.

I just hope and pray it won't happen to us. I need this baby more than anyone in this world knows. More than I know, I think.