TV Debut!

Charlotte was on TV at 8 days old..... and we missed it! But thankfully for the internet, we could watch the clip!

Because the Olympics are in Canada in 2010, the morning news is doing a lot of coverage on the lead-up to it.
The weather man on CanadaAM was asking people to send in pictures of themselves with the 'Red Olympic Mittens' on! So.. my mum wrote down the address to send the pictures too.. and promptly went to The Bay (a store that sells the olympic gear), and bought a pair of mittens. There was only youth size left.. although you wouldn't know that from the clip! Then we took her home, put on her brothers Olympic shirt (bought for him in Vancouver 2 years ago when Mum and Dad visited- so it was more like a dress on Charlotte! Put on the mitts, and took pictures!
We emailed them to CanadaAM, just Thursday night.. then apparently, on Friday morning, she was on TV! My aunt saw it- and emailed my dad to let her know... I even asked in the email for them to let us know when it would be aired, so I could alert the new grandparents.. but i guess they don't do that!

Anyway.. I found the clip- not sure how long it will work... if anyone knows how to save it-please let me know, I can't figure it out! Charlottes part is near the end of the clip- but it is only 1 minute and a bit!
http://watch.ctv.ca/news/clip240032#clip240032

Here are the two pictures we sent in!

Little Lamb

|I Love my lamby swing. I think lambs will be my animal, like Frogs and G-rafs are Noah's. See how small I look compared to the little lamby next to me in the swing!!

Had a dr. appointment today- Charlotte is just about up to her birth weight at 8days. We go back for a check up next week!

A different 'motherhood'

Ohh... I don't like this water thing.. but I do like being clean!

I do like getting my hair washed... as long as it only takes about 30 seconds.. after that- NO FUN!

A close-up of Charlotte in her stroller ready for a walk

Out on our first walk around the block. Once I can go up and down hills (it hurts my incision right now) we will take a little walk to Noah's tree!

She's changing a lot - even though she is only 6 days old. It's nice to see her getting stronger and more alert.

Emotions are running high for Matt and I.. and of course it's a mixture of complete love, excitement, and adoration for Charlotte, and sadness, 'what if's' and wishing things were different for her big brother Noah.

At times, more now than last week- she looks exactly like her brother. It's a good thing- to see 'him' in her. It's nice to know that his siblings, or at least one, will carry on some of his traits- even though it is something so tiny- like the curl  of his lips, or where the crown is on the top of his head.

So far this 'motherhood'- when mothering a child here on earth is at most times, wonderful. We are getting more sleep than I though, although broken. She is eating well, although at times I feel like soon, I will have no nipples left. She sleeps well, although I find myself spending a lot of time watching her on the monitor, or wanting to hold her while she sleeps- so I can make sure she is ok.

I love her so much. As I love Noah. I know what it's like to lose this love, and it's something that my soul cannot take again. I will do everything in my power to make sure she lives a long, happy and peaceful life!

Jane

Close ups

waving 'Hi'

Cuddles with Mummy

Cuddles with beautiful Auntie Kristin, and her dolly

We are home now from the hospital !What a feeling, coming home with a baby after not being able to with Noah.  It's so hard, in many ways, emotional and physical- yet also so, very wonderful.  So far we've breast fed a few times (painful, but great), had a little swing in the swing, and met the puppy.... casey isn't too impressed, but I think he will be okay.

Funny Hair and Dress up

Look- I have a mohawk already!!

Mummy likes to dress me up- but none of my clothes really fits yet!! Apparently 0-3 months doesn't REALLY mean that for all babies! I guess the baggy look will be fashionable at ourhouse for the new month or so (for Mummy and Charlotte!)

Introducing Charlotte!

Charlotte Mary Joan was born on November 17th at 9:28 am, weighing 6lbs 2oz, and 20 Inches long.
She is beautiful, and healthy, and doing well. Right now , her Daddy is having a nap with her on his chest. They are two of a kind!
We will probably be in the hospital until Friday.

Here are just a few of the many pictures!

Jane

12 hours

12 hours until I"m under the knife... to tell you the truth, I have pretty much no anxiety about that part of it all.  I posted about being nervous/anxious on facebook, and I think most people assume I am nervous about the surgery- saying things like 'at least you aren't waiting to go into labour', and soon it will be over etc.... obviously some people don't get it.. and that's ok- because it means that they haven't had to get it- they haven't gone through the loss of a innocent little beautiful soul before.
Anyway.. I'm nervous about after- what if she doesn't cry, what if something is wrong, what if she needs medical intervention, what is she dies..  I think right now I am every emotion you could think of, in a huge way- so much that I'm beginning to feel nothing,
My hope for tomorrow is that I will feel nothing but love.. and I know I will feel love.. and I know my worry is not helping.. and won't stop anything from happening, good or bad..
I guess I just can't help it! I don't even know what to feel anymore.. this has been a long, hard 9 months. I am so glad for it to be over, but I am also so afraid that I am going to again spiral into a deep dark hole like the last time all this happened.  Oh my..
my mind is a big anxious mess.
wish me 'luck'
pray for me
pray for Charlotte
think of us
hope with us
do whatever you can do, from there, to help me get through this- which really, for most of you wonderful ladies- is just being there- supporting me through whatever happens.

Next time I write, I will hopefully be posting birth information, and pictures of my beautiful daughter!

Jane

One Week

One Week.... One Week... seems so close.. yet... so not.

I've been increasingly anxious the past 2 days... so anxious that I'm not sleeping well, and can barely function like a regular person.

Luckily my Mum is hereto cook and clean, and has a clear head on her shoulders.

I wish they could just take  Charlotte out now, so she could be here, and whatever is meant to happen with her, happens. which hopefully will be more 'normal' this time, new to me. I know that won't stop my anxiety... but, I also think in many ways, it will help.

One week.... one week.... ONE WEEK!

Jane

November!

It's November.... It's the month that fate is sealed.. Charlotte will be born this month no matter what. No matter how.. she will come.
It's scary- most people who are pregnant would automatically assume their baby would be born healthy, breathing, perfect... I don't assume that- although I do hope with all that I am that this will be true. Is there a stronger word than hope??... plead, beg, NEED... whatever it is- it is with all my being that I hope she is perfect and breathing and healthy.

Anyway... went on a little trip to labour and delivery yesterday... I've been having weird pain in my bum the past few days.. a friend convinced me to call.. and so, there I went- called.. and of course- my file is one big huge red flag- so they had me come in. I assumed it was just muscle pain- but it was nice to be monitored for a while... nice to hear her heart beat for an hour straight!
everything is fine... I don' expect I will go into labour before my section date (17th).

Got my H1N1 shot today... I had been humming and haaing about getting it.. then, my dad (a research doctor)decided that it was all we could do to protect Charlotte once she arrives- she can't get the shot herself- and I would do anything to have her not sick. So Matt, me, and the grandparents have all been vaccinated. Now.. lets hope there are no long term effects- my dad has researched it a lot, and it seems to have a lot of natural ingredients- and the 'virus' is not active- it's not like putting the flu into your body... so we shall see. It was hard to get in our area- our region tends not to vaccinate pregnant women- luckily my doctors office is one of the only offices to have the vaccine (it's a huge office).

Mum arrives Wednesday! That will be nice!!!! She's so wonderful when she comes- some people would probably think she is crazy.. and maybe that I am crazy for letting her do it- but when she comes- she helps me soo much, she cooks, cleans, tidies- remembers stuff (I have no memory right now), takes the doggy out, feeds the animals... she does a lot... yet she still knows when to back off!! Some people would probably go insane having their mum with them for 2 months! I don't think I will! and if I do... I'll tell  her, and she'll try to fix it!  She'll let me mother Charlotte, and help me when I need it! It will be great! :) Unfortunatly she is coming to a not so clean house.. it's not bad- but I haven't been able to do everything I wanted- because my bum is/was so sore... sweeping, and dusting and vaccuming don't feel great right now... laundry- even worse!

On Tuesday- Matt and I have been invited to be the guests of the Dean of Medicine at Memorial University to attend a big fancy dinner at the Royal York hotel in downtown Toronto.  we were invited  because of Noah really. My dad started the 'Noah Awards', which is an endowment fund. This dinner is a sort of fund raising/allumni dinner for graduates of the medical school. It happens every year- tickets are usually 125 dollars.. we get to go for free! It will be nice to have a fancy night out before Charlotte arrives... clothing though.. well, they'll get what they get! we will see what still fits me!!!  Generally though- people don't really care what pregnant women wear!

There you go- more ramblings from my pregnant scatterbrained mind!!
I can't wait until this blog is used for millions of pictures of my little beauty!

Jane